So we met and I was smitten. He was younger than me but I just didn't care. I'd always been aloof before, (partly to minimize hurt from my upbringing, *sob*), but it couldn't control it. He was like food. As I stood on the top of the spiral staircase leading to the Student Union, i felt something I'd never felt before. A cold, icy wind, blowing right through my heart. Even now my heart flushes at the thought of him.
He was nothing special. Not a model in looks or Einstein in intelligence but he was young and quiet and I suppose I did jump on him, although *not literally*. I was looking for a bit of freedom and to put some much-needed distance between me and my first boyfriend who had rather unceremoniously robbed me of my virginity. In short I hated him. I want someone who "I felt" was nice and "sweet". I guess I was naive for my age too.
I wasn't particularly blown away because at first I thought he was a bit of a wimp, which is unfair I know, but it turned out to be true!!! It was only when he ditched me to seduce some other wench in the bar that I knew I wanted him! A man who didn't behave himself!!!LOL!
From what I can gather he had quite a typical, British repressed upbringing where they didn't really discuss sex or relationships but he over compensated for that by being over-aggressive in other areas! He liked soccer, cricket and karate and drank in the working men's club when I met him. (In the Britain, it's like a hall for the working class and their sons to drink and watch football all without women present. Sort of like getting away from the "ball and chain"= wife, on a Sunday after the roast dinner.)
Having a Jamaican father, aggression didn't really scare me, (although it probably should, as things got very nasty and the police got involved.)
I don't know *that much* about psychology and perhaps I should, but I still love him and I'm scared that will never change. It's been about 5 years since I've seen him, but I still look at his Facebook profile from time-to-time, and wonder what could have been.